Dinggin ang Bulong ng Tadhana

Makisabay sa agos ng pagbabago...

Matagal ko nang nabasa ang article na to mula dito.



At matagal ko na ring gustong bumwelta ng counter-strategy para dito. Kaso, busy-busyhan ang Reyna Emperatriz kaya ngayon ko lang nagawang magsulat tungkol dito.



Isa itong kasulatan na may pamagat na How to Manipulate your Gay mula sa blog na Confessions of a Dirty Good Boy na akda ng isang "Boy de Jour".



Kung sino man siya, Bangsa MALAYsia!



Ngunit hindi ko maitatanggi na may kabuluhan ang kanyang isinulat kung kaya't pag-uukulan ko ito ng panahon.



Sa article na to, inilahad niya ang kanyang dalubhasang pamamaraan kung paano pa-ikutin at pagkakwartahan ang mga baklang marupok. In fairness, magaling siyang mag-psych at kabisado niya ang takbo ng utak ng karamihan sa sisterhood.



Pero hindi lang siya ang matalino.



Lagi mong tandaan mare, sa story of creation, umusbong mula sa pinagbiyak na kawayan si Malakas at si Maganda. Eh saan sa kwento ang mga beki? Edi syempre tayo yung kawayan. Choz! Kung tutuusin mo, angat tayo sa kanila sapagkat taglay natin ang parehong katangian ng dalawang kasarian. Pusong-babae, pero bitukang-lalaki. Oh, arte fa? Gamitin mo ang lakas at talino ng pagiging lalaki mo kasabay ng intuition ng pagiging feeling gurlash mo. And that's a deadly combination. Kung sa ibang version naman ng story of creation, nandoon si Adan at si Eba, wag mangamba sis! Nandoon parin tayo. Ploks! Tayo yung ahas. hahaha! Be ye therefore wise as serpents -ika nga nila.



Pag-aralan nang mabuti ang article na ito. At kasunod ng mga strategies na isiniwalat ni Boy de Jour ay ang mga side-notes ng inyong kamahalan upang mag-silbing counter-strategy. If you wanna play chess, be sure to win. Kaya ito na ang kember niya:




Everybody has a gay. Be it a lover, a friend, a professor, or a new acquaintance. A gay can be very beneficial to a boy, a young man, or someone who looks like either a boy or a young man.

With my expertise as a master mindgamer, manipulator, and damn fucking hot sex machine, I am now arguably the definitive go-to guy when it comes to training hustler wannabes into the art of manipulating a gay for benefits. I am now sharing them with you through the goodness of my heart. Listen well, my young padawans, and listen good.
***O, makinig na daw nang mabuti madz, final announcement na ng game rules. Mamaya na ang chismiz.

The key to successfully manipulating a gay for benefits is confidence. You must gain your mark's confidence through careful suggestions, hints, and behavior. It's not how good you look, how well built you are, or how big your dick is. It's all about how well you play the con game. I have long diagnosed myself to have malignant narcissism, and unless you can admit to having one as well, then you can not pull a successful con.


If you have worked in a call center long enough, or if you have experience working for Famly First, then you'll find this relatively easy.


First, some clarifications: at the heart of any confidence trick is the victim's (or "the mark", sometimes "the target") own greed. A good conman doesn't play with people's TRUST, he plays with their CONFIDENCE. There's a difference. People get tricked into scams not because they're trusting, but because they are confident that they will gain something great by engaging with the con artist.
***May point siya. Go on.

Thus, one should not feel sorry to con a gay. You can NEVER trick an honest gay, only the greedy ones, the ones with hidden motives, the ones with the secret desires, can be truly corrupted.
***Again, may point siya. Pero teka lang. At kailan pa naging justifiable ang manlamang, mang-uto at manggamit ng kapwa regardless kung kanong klaseng tao siya?! Anyways, yaman din lamang na gamitan ang gustong nilang laro, makikipaglaro tayo. 

***Before anything else, kailangan mong malaman kung ano talaga ang MOTIBO mo sa pakikipag-ugnayan sa anumang klaseng lalaki. Take note: hindi naka-segregate ang mga matino sa mga gagong tulad nito at wala silang placard o sash na nagsasabing "manloloko ako." Kaya which is which? That's part of the game my dear. Kung hindi mo kayang i-risk, edi iwasan na lang lahat ng lalaki! Basic. Pero imposible. Sa kati mong yan! hahaha... Dito pumapasok ang kahalagahan ng pagsuri kung ano ang motibo mo sa pakikipag-ugnayan sa mga lalaki. 

***LEVEL I: Easy mode. Kung tunay na busilak ang iyong intensyon, plain friendship lang at walang halong paglalandi, kalaswaan o tugon sa tawag ng laman, hindi problema ang mga lalaki. Sabi nga niya, You can NEVER trick an honest gay. Kasi kung wala ka talagang hidden interest, hindi ka mag-aaksaya ni singkong duling para sa kanya. Halimbawa, may kapitbahay kang lalaking mukhang tuko at nagkita kayo sa sari-sari store ni Aling Trining. Pag sinabi niyang "palibre naman jan kahit softdrinks lang," I'm sure ang isasagot mo ay isang malaking "at bakheeeet???" na mala-roderick paulate sabay high jump ng kilay mo. Gets? Dahil wala kang anumang interes sa kanya, hindi mag-wowork ang anumang strategy na nakalista dito. Unless na lang kung may fetish ka sa mga tuko. Pero that's another story. LEVEL II: Moderate mode. Kung ang motibo mo naman ay para lang makahada o heky galore all the way to the cherry blossoms of Japan, then pay close attention dahil para kang mag-shoshopping sa ukay-ukay. Baka kasi makabili ka ng Hermes bag sa halagang 500 na pwede namang 200 kung marunong ka sa tawaran. O di kaya, tumatanggap pala sila ng beauty card, hindi mo lang natanong. Gets ulit? At panghuli at ang pinakakomplikadong mode ay LEVEL III: Difficult mode. Ito ay kung crush na crush mo talaga ang lalaki at gusto mong makipagrelasyon dahil nga mahal mo na siya at hindi lang dahil sa tawag ng laman o ng notary public. Ang mahirap dito, hindi lang basta tawaran ang kailangan. You have the desire to PLEASE the guy and give him a reason to like you for what you can offer, and not simply for what and who you are. Dito mas vulnerable sa panloloko ang mga juding dahil ang puso na ang pinaiiral at hindi ang utak o laman.

***Matapos mong ma-determine ang goal for the day, ang step two ay to determine the type of guy you are hitting on. Kung pang level II lang siya, carebears na kung manipulative ba siya o hindi basta ma-close ninyo ang deal sa pinakamababang presyo. Ganyan ang kalakalang galyon. Oo, parang palengke lang yan. Laman din naman ang bentahan. Pero kung Level III, kailangan mong pag-aralan nang mabuti at masusi ang bawat kilos, salita, pakikitungo at response o reaction niya sa iyo. If naaamoy mo na ang alingasaw ng manipulasyon, kahit gaano ka slight, then reconsider your goal. Hindi ganitong klaseng lalaki ang minamahal gurl. You deserve better. I suggest changing mode to Level II at mag-gamitan na lang kayo dahil yun lang naman ang kaya niyang i-offer. Or abandon the mission completely if you're afraid of getting hurt. If you choose to go on, then read further.

Moving on... here are some pointers on how to successfully manipulate your gay for benefits.


I. Treat him like a man.


Gays enjoy the cursory illusion of being treated like "one of the boys". Call them "pare" as much as you can, they'd like that. EVEN IF they admit they're gay, you have to keep on ignoring that and pretend that you "don't believe" he is gay.
***Syempre masarap makasama ang mga boys. Lalo na kung kompurtable sila na kasama tayo. Wala namang masama dito. Just bear in mind that this could be a strategy and remind yourself often. It's not being paranoid, its being wise.

Say things like: "Pare, sumama ka lang lagi sa kin, gagawin kitang tunay na lalake." And "Pare, sayang ka, eh. Siguro, kung susubok ka lang ng chicks, makakabuo ka kaagad."
***Just give them a beautiful smile to make them think you are falling for their lines. And remind yourself of the stench of a clitoris. Try not to vomit as you do this.

Invite them to play basketball. Don't worry. They will never play basketball. Gays don't play basketball, they play volleyball. If your mark's a tall gay, then you can say things like "Pare, sayag, dapat nagbabasketball ka, dami mo siguro chicks." They will love that.
***Onaman, lalo na kung ininvite ka niya manood ng game nila. Mag-aala-cheerleader ka dun. With all the face towel and water. Ulirang girlfriend ang role. Okay lang naman mag-enjoy habang nakikipaglaro ka sa mga lalaki, basta keep your mind in the game always at nang hindi ka malihis ng landas. If you can, try mo sumali sa kanila magbasketball to break the stereotype of gays too soft for their kind of ball. Gulat lang nila! And chance mo ito makachansing day! Grab it. haha...

Pretend IGNORANCE. Even if your gay is starting to hint interest in you, IGNORE HIS ADVANCES in order to challenge him more. Gays are biologically male, and as such, are tied to the psychology of being excited when facing challenges.
***Tama siya dito. Ang bakla, kaya galante sa lalaki dahil kahit papaano ay lalaki pa rin ang mentality. Tulad na lang ng lalaking nanliligaw ng pesteng merlat, nagpapakitang-gilas ito in every way. Kung sakaling hindi ka naging bading, gagawin mo pa rin lahat ng panggagastos na yan sa babaeng nililigawan mo. Use their strategy of ignorance, though. It may come handy later. Always play dumb, wag lang careerin.

BEWARE BEWARE BEWARE: Never ever treat your gay like a woman. Treating a gay like a woman will make him believe you are interested in something romantic. He will start behaving like a girl, and like a true female, will start MAKING DEMANDS. You DON'T want that. You don't want your gay to send you messages like "Bakit di ka nagtetext?" or "Hmph." or asking you questions about the friends you're keeping.
***Can't argue with him on this. Good strategy, I must say. hahaha... Weakness natin ang pagiging feeling bilatra. But mind you, kahit pa tinuturing ka na niyang parang babae, be careful. Wag masyadong i-feel dahil most of the time, pambobola lang ito for you to fall for him even more. Acknowledge kunwari na naloloko ka. Pwedeng mag-blush. Pero always remember na alam mong its part of his gameplan.

II. Invest in Your Gay


Every peso you invest in your gay will have a profit margin of 10x ROI. Part of gaining a gay's confidence is making him believe that you are financially independent (You ARE financially independent; you just enjoy spending his money instead of yours) and are not interested in his money. This will also CHALLENGE him into OUT DOING the amount you have spent on him.
***Hindi lahat financially independent. Kung makaasta naman ito, kala mo ang saya-saya talaga niyang nakalamang siya. In fact, mas madaling baliktarin ang larong Level II kung naghihikahos ang lalaking magiging biktima ng iyong pag-aaswang. If you're really experienced in this, kaya mong paglaruang parang tuta ang lalaking purita gamit ang iyong salapi bilang buto. Do not attempt this strategy to guys who are "financially independent," though. Their strategy might just work. Kailangan mong alamin kung kailan appropriate mag-public display of wealth at kung kailan hindi ito makakatulong. Ipa-background check mo sa NBI ang lalaki mo. Choz! Madali lang itong malaman. Consider where he lives, the kind of food he eats, his type of clothes and syempre kung magkano ang allowance niya.
Treat a gay into a frappucino in the ballpark of 100-php and you can expect to be treated to a movie and dinner amounting to 1000-php. Wear a 500-php shirt, and he might give you a pair of 5,000-php shoes. This is mathematics.
***Gaya nang nasabi ko, alamin kung kailan dapat magpakitang-gilas at kung kailan hindi dapat. Don't offer him more than he deserves. Nilibre ka niya nang 100-php na kape, pwede mo siyang ilibre rin with a little more or less 100-php worth of whatever you can think of. Kung purita mirasol lang naman ang lalaki, enjoy a gourmet of street food with him. Naperahan ka man, konti lang at nag-enjoy ka naman kasama niya. Kaya quits lang! Wag mong dalhin sa mamahaling resto unless una siyang nanlibre ng ganoong halaga. 

III. Always Smell Strong


It doesn't matter if you smell good or you smell bad as long as your body scent is STRONG AND OVERWHELMING. Bathe in cheap Afficionado perfume (that is, if you can't afford original, expensive perfumes like I can) or don't shower for 3 days. This is an either-or tip.
***Again, another point well taken. See how clever he is in looking for our weaknesses? You must do the same for your guy. Look for his weakness and use it for as long as hindi ganoon ka mahal yung pesteng weakness na yun or else para ka nalang ding naperahan. As much as possible, use a weakness that doesn't involve money or buying just like the one he cited.

Gays are big on smells. They want to smell you a lot. A person's scent is a subconscious reminder to his significant others of his presence when out of the line of vision. You must establish your presence with your scent.


When playing rough with your "pare", make sure he gets a health dose of your armpits. Pretend you're not conscious of how you smell.
***Punyeta. Magaling talagang maglaro ang gagong to. This is especially effective lalo na kung may armpit fetish ka tulad ko. Warning: manghihina ka dito te. But as I have said, hindi bawal mag-enjoy habang nakikipaglaro. Wala namang mawawala sa iyo kung ipagdidikdikan ka niya sa kilikiki niya. Just remember na wala kang utang na loob sa kanya dahil lang sa sarap ng kilikili niya.

IV. Show Some Skin


Show some skin--BUT NOT A LOT, AND NOT OFTEN.


The technique is to give them a bit to stir their phantom wombs, but not enough to satisfy them, and not often enough that they get accustomed to your body. Never let a gay get familiarized with your physique, or you will lose the whole con altogether.
***This teasing act is used to make you want him even more. Again, mare, go ahead. Take advantage. Just reflect afterwards kung ano ang epekto nito sa iyo. Dapat aware ka kung bakit niya ito ginagawa para alam mo ang dapat mo isipin. Kung feel mo nadedehado ka sa laban dahil dito, atras muna sandali and get a hold of yourself.

V. Profit


Finally, when it comes to reaping the rewards of your hard work, do so subtly.


Make your mark think IT'S HIS IDEA to "help" you out. Never suggest a solution, but present "your problem" in such a way that the solution is clear, and he would make the leaps of logic easily without your help.
***Never volunteer any help unless asked. Never present a solution kahit alam mo na ang mga options. Play dumb dear. Make him say what he wants to happen. And once he does, don't agree to help just yet. Don't forget to make it clear what you want to gain out of helping him. But do not state that you want it in exchange for helping him out. Present it as if you also have your problem and make it seem that he can readily help you out with the solution you want. Make him think about it. Do not settle for any suggestion less than what you have in mind. He might attempt to offer other options to free himself of his part of the bargain. Do not let him. Make sure that you make him suggest that maybe you can help each other out. "BINGO ka day!" -sabi pa ni Annabelle Rama. hahaha... Edi everybody happy! He gets what he wants, you get what you want. Also, wag kang gahaman. Make sure na ang hinihingi mong kapalit ay fairly equal sa hinihingi niya sa iyo. Kung gusto niya lang ng burger, wag kang humingi ng kasal sa simbahan.

Sample dialogue: "So, yun. Di ko nga alam kung saan ako kukuha ng pang-tuition eh. Kung may mahihiraman lang ako, makakapag-bayad naman ako sa susunod na padala ni mama."
***Sample answer: At bakit hindi mo naman inabisuhan ng maaga ang nanay mo para nakapagpadala ng mas maaga? (Again do not ever offer your help unless he verbalizes it. Once he does, present what you want to gain.) I really want to help you kaya lang yung budget ko kasi nakalaan na para dun sa usapan namin ng kakilala ko (na kunwari magfufulfill ng kung anong gusto mong mangyari na kaya rin naman niyang ifulfill) Kung may iba nga lang akong options hindi na sa kanya. Kaya lang wala eh. (If he does not take the bait, do not give in to his favor.)

Always put up a token resistance. "Ano ba, nakakahiya naman. Baka sabihin nila, ano." is a classic reply to ANY AND ALL OFFER OF ASSISTANCE.
***Avoid this by not offering assistance at all. But you must make him see that you CAN if you really can.

Do not ask for anything; always pretend you're just "borrowing".
***Know that there's no such thing as borrowing in this kind of business.

When going around the mall with your gay, it would be helpful if you make your tastes clear in order to help him pick out a birthday/graduation/special occassion gift for you next time that he's alone. "Fuck, sayang, mahal pala tong bagong Nike Zoom Le Bron VI! Gustong gusto ko pa naman."
***Do not make him think that you are falling for this. "Sabi ko naman sa iyo diba, mag-ipon ka para kaya mong bilhin kung ano ang gusto mo. Wag masyadong gumasta sa di naman mahalagang bagay, para kung may gustong-gusto ka, edi mabibili mo agad." You appear concerned and helpful for his wellbeing. You can use these "likes" of him as a weakness later on.

Not all benefits are financial. You can ask your gay for help on matters concerning your studies, or for other opportunities:
***Hindi ikaw ang Lady of Perpetual Help kaya wag kang martir. Pwede kang tumulong pero hindi pwedeng ikaw ang gagawa ng lahat o ng majority ng trabaho.

"Shit, ambobo ko talaga. Babagsak na naman ako sa class kasi di ko magawa ng tama tong project ko."
***"Ano ba kasi yang project na yan? Baka maturuan kita paano gawin kung alam ko." (Take note: turo. hindi ikaw ang gagawa ng project.)

"Kung makakahanap lang ako trabaho, di makakatulong na ako kina mama."
***"Anong pumipigil sa iyo? Hindi naman ang trabaho ang lalapit sa iyo. Kailangan mong magsikap maghanap. Hayaan mo, samahan kita." (Oh, di may date ka pa.)

"Buti ka nga may auto, eh. Ako, pa-commute-commute lang. Kailangan ko pa naman pumunta ng Subic para pick-upin yung padala ni Mama sa tita ko dun."
***"Kaya mag sikap ka. Walang fairy godmother na pwedeng mag grant ng wish mo ng hindi mo pinaghihirapan."

Bonus Tip: One of the best scam to pull on a gay once you've gained his confidence is the Multilevel Marketing Scam Gay Version: "Pare, ayos yung in-ooffer sa akin nung kaibigan ko. 14,500 lang ang fee, tapos kada-2 downline, may 500 ako, plus automatic, 10,000 pesos na GC's sa Jennelyn Shoes at Play and Display. Sulit di ba? Yun nga lang, san naman ako kukuha ng 14,500. Sayang. Kayang-kaya ko mag-sali ng mga tao sa downline ko eh."
***"Sige, pag-ipunan mo yan kung gusto mo talagang sumali. Alam ko namang kayang-kaya mo yan eh. Ikaw pa." (Gaga ka na lang kung naniwala ka rin sa mga pyramiding scam na yan. Bakla ka na nga, tanga ka pa.)

This is an easy con to pull because your gay will be interested in the profit as well. He will see this as a joint venture.
***Gurl, gumising sa katotohanan. Ano kayo mag-asawa? Conjugal kunwari yung business? Loka. Pwede mo siyang ipasok sa trabaho kung may kumpanya ka o may kapit ka sa kumpanya. Siguraduhin mo lang na magtatrabaho talaga siya. Okay lang naman maging matulungin, pero dapat sa tamang paraan. Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for the rest of his life. Kung talagang mabuti siyang tao at deserving siya, mas ikatutuwa niya ito. He'll appreciate your presence in his life more for what you have helped him become than what you simply gave him. Syempre hindi lahat ng lalaki ganito, kaya back to the game ateng.

But of course, you're not really putting that money into any multilevel marketing scheme, are you? Not when you can afford a new cellphone with that money.
***See what I'm talking about? If you really need to spend (part of the bargain), as much as possible, don't give him cash. Buy or pay things WITH him. For all you know, your cash will be his next pocketmoney for his date with some cheap clit.

So, after a few weeks, you need to put on another act: "Putang... Ulol talaga yung Jhong na yun! Tinakbo pera ko! Uupakan ko yun pagnakita ko eh!"
***Yeah right! Try harder. So you see, mga sisteraka, wag masyadong magpadala sa tawag ng puso o puson. Maging tuso dahil tuso din ang kalaro natin. Manlalamang sila kung may pagkakataon, you must be very aware of this. Gamitin ang intuition ng pagiging half-merlat upang magabayan ng kutob, at gamitin ang utak ng pagiging half-keke upang hindi mautakan. Wag basta padadala. Tandaan mo: iba tayo. Angat sa karaniwan. Hindi ka lolokohin kung ma-fifeel nilang hindi ka madaling lokohin. At lagi mong tandaan na ang lalaking karapat-dapat mahalin ay yung hindi magagawang pagsamantalahan ang iyong pag-mamabuting loob at hindi kung anu-ano ang hinihiling o hinihingi sayo. Tanggap ka niya sa kung sino at ano ka at masaya siya sa piling mo, hindi sa kung ano ang pwede o kaya mong ibigay sa kanya. Yun nga lang, hindi ko alam kung may ganoon talagang lalaki. Siguro meron, pero nag-avail na rin ng membership card sa kapisanan natin. hihihi

There. I hope that helps. If you have any questions or clarifications, feel free to leave them in the comments section.



Yours,

Boy De Jour

***P.S.: Boy De Jour, my most sincere thanks for this post. Naway maliwanagan ang mga kaawa-awang kapatid ko sa pananampalataya at matutong lumaban nang patas.

Powered By Blogger

About Me

My Photo
Diwata
Philippines
Sino nga ba ang Diwata? Walang nakaaalam... Walang nakakikilala... Maging ako, hindi alam kung sino siya.
View my complete profile

Ano 'to?

Isang kaban ng kung anu-anong bagay na labas-pasok sa utak ko. May ibang may sense, may iba namang wala. Pakyut lang. Ang iba naman tungkol sa kagagahan ng mundo.


MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Mga Alagad

Powered By Blogger